Wood Shock...
Apparently, in a book I'm reading on critical decision making under stress, there is such a thing as "wood shock" of "bending the map." This is the phenomenon that occurs when you get lost in the woods. What happens is that, as you get lost, the panic begins to set in as you realize that the actual geography of your surroundings doesn't match the mental map that has been made in your head as you got to the place youre at. More simply put, its when you realize that things are not what you remember or what they seem, and where you find yourself now, alone in the woods, is a very, very dangerous place to be because you begin to make critical descisions based on false information. Very, very dangerous.
The author of this book that I am reading describes it this way:
If we persist in benindg the map until we can no longer deny the evidence of our senses, it can be terrifying... Since the organisims survival depends on a reasonable match between mental map and environment, as the dwo diverge, [the brain] sends out alarm signals even as the motivational circturs urge you on and on. The result is vertigo, claustrophobia, panic and wasted motion. Since most people aren't concious of the process, there's no way to reflect on what's happening. All you know is that it feels as if your're going mad. (And what else is insanity but a failure to match mind and world?) And when the full weight of the incongruity hits you, the impact can be devistating. (Psychologists have observed that one of the most basic human needs, begining at birth, is to be gazed upon by another. Mothers throughout the world have been ovserved spending long periods staring inot the eyes of thier babies with a characteristic tilt of the head. To be seen is to be real, and without another to gaze upon us, we are nothing. Part of the terror of being lost stems from the idea of never being seen again.)
- "Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies and Why" by L. Gonzales
The process is the same relationally. One of the hardest things in the world is saying goodbye to people who have been an integral part of your life for so long, after realizing that the relationship you thought you had with them was actually based on memories and times gone by when we were both different people. Its intentionally "losing" yourself and your relationship with that person. Sometimes, the end of that relationship is the only way to protect your heart from further hurt (at a significantly detrimental level). Its a place I've found today, a place of fear, of reliving a lot of that hurt, of resentment. Those same emotions of being lost in the woods, the "vertigo, claustrophobia, panic and wasted motion" feel the same relationally as they do in the wilderness.
I tend to be very good at showing grace and mercy, according to some people the other day. Today, I prove them wrong. Today, I see the most base parts of my heart, and that just makes the hurt more intense.
The author of this book that I am reading describes it this way:
If we persist in benindg the map until we can no longer deny the evidence of our senses, it can be terrifying... Since the organisims survival depends on a reasonable match between mental map and environment, as the dwo diverge, [the brain] sends out alarm signals even as the motivational circturs urge you on and on. The result is vertigo, claustrophobia, panic and wasted motion. Since most people aren't concious of the process, there's no way to reflect on what's happening. All you know is that it feels as if your're going mad. (And what else is insanity but a failure to match mind and world?) And when the full weight of the incongruity hits you, the impact can be devistating. (Psychologists have observed that one of the most basic human needs, begining at birth, is to be gazed upon by another. Mothers throughout the world have been ovserved spending long periods staring inot the eyes of thier babies with a characteristic tilt of the head. To be seen is to be real, and without another to gaze upon us, we are nothing. Part of the terror of being lost stems from the idea of never being seen again.)
- "Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies and Why" by L. Gonzales
The process is the same relationally. One of the hardest things in the world is saying goodbye to people who have been an integral part of your life for so long, after realizing that the relationship you thought you had with them was actually based on memories and times gone by when we were both different people. Its intentionally "losing" yourself and your relationship with that person. Sometimes, the end of that relationship is the only way to protect your heart from further hurt (at a significantly detrimental level). Its a place I've found today, a place of fear, of reliving a lot of that hurt, of resentment. Those same emotions of being lost in the woods, the "vertigo, claustrophobia, panic and wasted motion" feel the same relationally as they do in the wilderness.
I tend to be very good at showing grace and mercy, according to some people the other day. Today, I prove them wrong. Today, I see the most base parts of my heart, and that just makes the hurt more intense.
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