Prodigal Medic....

One of the hardest things for me is the feeling of replacement… Like Woody in “Toy Story” there are times when I have felt that I have invested a lot into people. Given time, energy, heart and soul. There has often been a time to share these friendships with other people. This has actually always been a source of pride for me, that my friends and friendships would be compatible. I’ve thought that if I had all my friends gathered on an island together for a long period of time, we’d have a mind-blowing party, celebrating our lives and time together. There are also times though, when I fear that while everyone else would be partying and enjoying each other’s company, I would be the forgotten one in the corner, wishing that people remembered me. Is it that I am an outdated friend? I don’t think so. The failed, broken and insecure part of me feels that the bigger issue is more that I don’t have the qualities that make one person more attractive to another… whether it is intangible qualities like humor, mystery or conversational skill, or physical traits or characteristics or just that general vibe that someone else is worth spending more time with than me. Its something I’ve struggled with for a long time. I probably will for a while longer. I just pray that the lies are quieted through the right kind of spontaneous affirmation from friends who really care. Jesus, let me see me as you do. Amen.